thesparhawkway

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Life

I got that crazy sense of being overwhelmed yesterday. Overwhelmed at how we are going to do life with all three, overwhelmed with how much everyone is more than willing to help in the areas I feel like I might crash, overwhelmed at how God gives that last little spurt of energy right before a little one comes, overwhelmed that Robby and I are going to have to learn how to parent a little girl, overwhelmed at what great big brothers she is going to have, overwhelmed that God has brought five new women into my life that can be my accountability partners and friends, just overwhelmed. Some of these are good, some are bad, but at the end of the day I know who holds our future and that brings comfort. I have had the privilege of creating and maintaining wonderful friendships starting in high school. This week I was missing those women because I know I could just come over to their house with the boys and just be with them. Whether we talked or not is beside the point and somewhere in those established relationships I have found so much comfort that I stopped building deeper relationships with women I met afterward, but God is pushing me out of my zone. I have to find women like that here because I know we are supposed to be here…there was always that small hope we might go back to west Texas, but until we retire I don’t think that will happen. Last night a woman in my home group asked each one of the married women how their marriage was and said she was going to keep tabs on us and I tried to remember the last time I asked any of my close friends how their marriage was and I could not remember. Not how their marriage is in terms of children, normal fighting, or chores, but how their marriage is in terms of being vulnerable to one another, communication, and spiritual walk. I need people like that in my life to keep me on track. So, I am taking her advice and expect a question when you call me. My Aunt Cynthia says it best, “people need someone to witness their lives”, all of their lives, not just the pretty parts. All that being said (I know I jumped around a lot on this post), God comforted me last night through these women and it was such a blessing! Today, I am overwhelmed at how much I can love my family, and how they each play such a unique  role in our dynamics and it is a wonderful feeling!

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Purpose

I just completed my management degree in January and there were many courses that talked about the importance of a business vision/values or purpose statement when starting a business. This obviously gives the business a direction and sets the pace for human resource to start operations/hiring. The devotional book I am reading called The Power of a Positive Mom recommends stay-at-home Mom’s creating a purpose or mission statement for their home. I am still working on mine, but what I have so far has helped me create an intentional parenting environment. My statement includes more than just my vision for my children, but also for me as a wife and in regards to my home. It is so nice to feel like I have a direction most days, especially in the wind and grind of trying to keep up with two toddlers. I encourage any Mom that reads my blog to create a vision statement for their home life!

Goals Update

I think it is safe to say that my mental goal is going the best, but because it is going so well my spiritual goal is also doing great. I have completed twelve books since the beginning of the year including The Hunger Games series, The Harry Potter series,20 and Counting, and Boundaries with Kids. I am now doing a devotional type book The Power of a Positive Mom that Robby gave me early for Valentine’s Day because I needed a new read. He also gave me The Power of a Positive Wife which will be my new devotional when I complete this one. The reading has been catching on with the boys, today Joseph and I sat down for about fifteen minutes and I read a book to him then he tried to read it back to me by pointing out various objects he recognized on the page. He sort of made up his own version. James continues to flip through, and will occasionally let Robby or I read one or two pages to him.

I picked my February family for prayer, and they seem to be going through a major rough patch lately. This family has little if any faith, so handling the hard times is a lot tougher.

We have put $250 extra towards debt so far, which is about what I averaged out per month, so we are on the right track, but could use some improvement. This is where my new business venture comes in, I have started selling Mary Kay to try to bring in a couple hundred extra dollars a month towards our debt snowball. This was a huge decision, but getting a part-time job seemed next to impossible between trying to figure out Robby and I’s scheduled and there would never be a guarantee I would get the hours I needed. I am not going to lie, I am a little scared, but I think God has been nudging me towards this for a while so here I go. My goals are small because of the little ones, but just the extra couple of hundred a month will make a huge impact on our debt and to me that is worth it!

I do not salt anything I cook, lol. People that visit my house can attest to that. Robby’s blood pressure is staying within normal range except when something is going on at work. I am not doing a great job keeping sweets out of the house because I assume he won’t eat them (not the case) so I am working on that.

I have started planning a month’s worth of menus, but I have not cooked and frozen anything yet, so I need to get started on that!

Joseph remains completely opposed to using the potty (not sure what this is about), will not even sit on it. I am trying to talk the language with him, but so far it has not produced any results. James continues to be stubborn and it depends on what he is doing if the discipline method is effective or not.

As for my hair, I am excited as I think I am going to be able to get it trimmed by my girl in Lubbock in March 🙂 I fix it now and then, but only when we are going out so it is not incredibly healthy right now.

Opinions

I am going to give my opinion on two recent happenings that I have seen many comments and articles about on facebook (sometimes it is my only news source, lol). I am a highly opinionated person, although I have learned that to speak loudly is not always the best way to articulate your opinion nevertheless it has been a while since I have spoken out about subjects and I think it is time. Bear in mind these are my opinions based on my belief and value system.

Situation 1: Father shooting up his daughter’s laptop due to facebook post.

First, all I have to go by on this opinion is the video the father posted. Although, I believe it is unwise as a parent to act out of anger, I do it many times especially between the hours of 3:30 and bedtime. I believe shooting the laptop was what the father felt to be justified anger or maybe in his previous warning (1st time it happened) he had warned her he would shoot it. His daughter had just disrespected him and his wife as hardworking parents trying their best to teach their children how to grow up in reality. Reality meaning that fifteen year old has household responsibilities because if she wants to survive later in life on her own than she needs to know how to do laundry and make her bed. Also bear in mind, she would not have had the laptop had her parents worked hard to provide her with it seeing as she did not have a job. According to the video, he warned her something like this would happen if she posted another disrespectful note, so I find it interesting that people think he went to the extreme. She was testing his boundaries by posting another note, she had already been warned of the consequences, and now she is reaping them because she proceeded with the action. If this girl would have posted a note like this about her boss, say when she is 23 fresh out of college and on a successful career track, she would probably be fired. Many comments centered on she is fifteen, everyone resents their parents at fifteen, and maybe that is so, but it does not excuse the behavior. It is okay to have feelings of resentment, justified or not, but children have to learn to not always act on those feelings otherwise life is going to pretty rough for them. I will say just having saw the video and not knowing any other circumstances surrounding the situation that the father was right in his actions. If the Dad would have not followed through with his warning, she would have thought it okay to continue to disrespect him and her mother. There is a healthy balance in discipline, you cannot completely control your children, but you do need to teach them boundaries, especially those boundaries that teach them to respect themselves, others, and reality.

Situation 2: Obama-care requiring religious institutions to provide abortion services and contraceptives.

I am of the opinion of the Catholic Church and Christians on this one. It is in direct violation of freedom of religion. I don’t pretend to know much about politics even though I have my opinion about them and about the people that trade money for their values (which is not all of them), but that is beside the point. WARNING: I am about to go on a rant. How dare you tell me that if I run privately funded Christian organization I have to provide my employees with things that kill or cause harm to innocent human life. Life and death are in God’s hands, period. I cannot for the life of me think of why anyone who claims any kind of Biblical value system would think otherwise. He is the creator of all things, it is not a question of women’s rights according to Christians, it is a direct violation of God’s commands which has to do with religious freedom. I am also going to say that the Father who provided his sperm should also be allowed his rights in these situations. He may not have to carry the baby or give birth, big deal, that is easy compared to the actual parenting part any woman who has given birth can tell you that, so if he wants that responsibility he should get a say.

 

My Husband

He probably will not read this, but I am going to state publicly how grateful I am for Robby and what he does for our family. I often forget to tell him how much I appreciate the sacrifices he makes so I can stay at home with our children. I realize for as much as I gripe when he needs to work on his latest “project” (car) or is thirty minutes later from work, I should be encouraging him ten fold. He is an active Dad meaning he makes a huge effort to hang out with me and our children and do activities they enjoy. Every day the weather has allowed he has been outside running around with them and just genuinely enjoying them. I on the other hand, have been the exhausted housewife, little Esther has put a damper on the amount of physical activity I can do with the boys without going into pain or extreme exhaustion. It is times like these I know why God gave us each other. We are a team, and when one cannot perform completely the other picks up the slack. We are still working out some kinks because we are only a little less than three years into our marriage, but we are working together. I am not sure he realizes how much he helps me, but just this week he got the boys out of bed three times, even on work days, and waited until last minute to wake me up. We are about to know incredibly hard and tiring times, but that is why there are two of us 🙂 I would not trade my children for the world, but three under three is rough, but together we can do it. It is amazing to see how God took this move to Denton and brought people into our lives to draw us closer to Him and each other. I love him more every day and I cannot wait to grow old with him, oh wait we already are 🙂

In need of forgiveness

Today has been one of those days, and if you are or have ever been a Mom you know what I am talking about. I was not a great, oh who am I kidding not even a good Mom today. I would like to say oh the boys were just having one of those days where they were in moods, but the reality is it was me. I was tired, possibly hormonal (6 1/2 months pregnant), and angry. I am not proud of how I acted to anyone today, but mainly the boys. Every little thing they did or did not do solicited anger from me, and I am not even sure what sparked it. It is a good thing we have God’s grace and forgiveness because today I was really reminded that I am an imperfect human, and through God’s blessing Robby and I conceived and are raising imperfect little humans. It is also a good thing we have a policy at this house that after any form of discipline the boys get a hug and an “I love you” and today, well today they also got an apology from Mom for her angry reactions.

School

It is so crazy to think that after almost ten years of pursuit I am finally done with my Bachelor’s. I turned in my final assignment last night around 10:15 pm, and it feels great to have finally finished. I will be honest there were many times when I wanted to quit, but for some reason after I had children it was easier to persevere. There are times when I think am I ever going to use this management degree because right now my heart is staying at home with my children and homeschooling them then I think my gosh I am using it everyday. I just don’t get paid in monetary units. I manage our budget, the boys (which can be very difficult some days), chores, doctors visits, dentists visits, and the general well being of our family. One day I will either own and operate a fitness studio or a non-profit organization dealing with orphans, but for right now our family is my priority. I am just happy to have finally finished. Most days were pretty easy, but I remember staying up until 2am to finish an assignment when James was still nursing, and right after I turned it in, he woke up to nurse and never went back to sleep. Some days I felt I had conquered Mt. Everest just by completing the bare minimum. I am done with something I started almost ten years ago when I graduated high school, and it feels great!

Boundaries

Okay, so I am reading Boundaries with Kids, and my February book is going to be Boundaries. I have a praise today because for the first time in a while, I set a boundary with Joseph. I had planned to stay at the park after we picked up trash for at least another hour because any Mom of two little boys knows that if there is a beautiful day in January to take advantage and let them be outside. Joseph was throwing wood chips at the park and he got told once not to throw them or we would have to leave. He apologized to the little boy he threw them at, but proceeded to pick up another handful and throw them in a different direction. We had to leave the park 😦 I simply told him, I was sorry he had made the decision to throw the wood chips again. He apologized in the car, but it was so freeing to set that simple boundary it amazed me. We are also setting a juice boundary, he and James get 4 ounces of juice a day mixed with water, if they want it in the morning they have to go without the rest of the day. Joseph is learning to get water in the morning then get his juice when he really wants it 🙂 Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend talk about “three ways to influence your kids to develop boundaries: teaching, modeling, and teaching them to internalize…If you “do” boundaries with your kids, they internalize the experiences, remember them, digest them, and make them a part of how they see reality” (44). This book has really opened my eyes to what it means to teach my kids character and reality. It is not easy to digest some of it and I am sure the adult version will be harder to digest, but it will be worth it.

Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend. Boundaries with Kids.

Spiritual Goal

Wow, satan sure has a way of attacking when people began to seek God. My marriage and home have been under attack for the last week simply due to the fact I am talking to God more. The boys have been pushing boundaries and patience levels to an all time high, and Robby and I cannot seem to be on the same page about anything. I am feeling exhausted and worn down trying to keep everything together. My home feels like a war zone sometimes, oh wait it is, we are just fighting with each other instead of uniting together to fight against satan. It is okay though because I know I am equipped to fight back and I know who wins in the end 🙂 I hope satan is not attacking the family I am praying for as much as he is attacking my family right now, but if he is I am continuing to pray against it! My prayer this week for anyone reading this is that if your family is under attack like mine that you will pray against it and unite together under God  to come against satan and his attacks. Satan has a major grudge against families, especially families who are trying to do the right thing according to scripture and it is an everyday battle to keep him out of the game.

Mental Goal

January’s book- Boundaries with Kids by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. I am very excited about this book because my Mom has been trying to get me to read the original boundaries book for almost a year now and it is important for my children to learn boundaries 🙂 I am going to start with the kids book, but I will get around to the adult book before the end of the year!

I think February’s book is going to be 20 and Counting by Michele Duggar,  but have not completely made up my mind.

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